just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
