You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Randomize
