Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
