who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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