She is in my trunk
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
