Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
you would pick up someone in the library
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
