I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
