I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He better not be in your backpack
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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