I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
