I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
