She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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