Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
