if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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