it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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