im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
