I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize
