remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
