I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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