Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
