What did we do last night that was yellow?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
