You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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