I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
