What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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