Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
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