They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
