i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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