I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
