im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
