I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
