carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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