nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Randomize
