My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
