You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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