You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
