i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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