I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
