I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
