I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize