People in love make me want to vomit
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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