just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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