I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
