WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Are we still banned from the library?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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