dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
