I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
