she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize