If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
