i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
