giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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