I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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