whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
