Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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