why didn't you poke me back
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
