# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
