Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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