that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
