chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
