My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
