You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
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