is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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