if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
you would pick up someone in the library
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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