I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
