we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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