My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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