It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
