hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
