franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Lo siento on account of my penis...
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
